Every child, at some point, will experience a moment of big emotions in public. These tantrums can happen anywhere, often in the least ideal places like, toy stores, sweet shops, bustling supermarkets, or quiet, formal events like weddings. As parents, we cannot always predict when or where these emotions will surface, but what we can control is how we choose to respond in those challenging moments. Like this example of a lollipop:
What often makes these situations even more difficult isn’t the child’s behavior itself, but the reactions from those around us. The lingering stares, unsolicited advice, and at times, sharp or thoughtless comments that can turn an already stressful experience into one that feels overwhelming and deeply uncomfortable. It’s in these moments that parents often feel isolated, as though every eye in the room is watching and silently judging.
It’s important to remember that toddlers are still learning how to navigate the world and manage their emotions. These feelings are often bigger than they know how to handle, and sometimes, those emotions spill out in very public and noticeable ways. Whether it’s in the middle of a grocery store aisle, at a busy family gathering, or during a quiet event, these moments are simply a normal part of childhood and learning, though admittedly, they’re not always easy for anyone involved.
How to Manage a Public Tantrum
1. First, take a deep breath.
You are not alone in this experience. While it may feel isolating when surrounded by disapproving eyes, remind yourself that no one else there is the parent of your child. Your responsibility in that moment is not to satisfy onlookers, but to support your child through their difficult emotions.
2. Try to manage the tantrum as you would at home.
It’s easy to feel pressure to do something extra or different in public, but remember — a tantrum is a tantrum, no matter the setting. Get down to your child’s level, speak gently, offer comforting touch, or allow them to have their moment safely.
3. Take them away if necessary
In certain situations, you might decide it’s best to step outside with your child. If you’re at a quiet event or somewhere where the disturbance feels particularly disruptive, moving to a calmer space or briefly leaving can help. However, it’s important to remember that you don’t always have to leave. Sometimes you can stay, and sometimes you need to stay because it’s not possible to leave or because your child may need the chance to process those emotions right where they are.
After the Tantrum
Remember no public space should make you feel ashamed of your parenting. Children are human beings, and just like adults, they will have bad days, moments of frustration, and times when emotions feel too big to manage. The goal is to eliminate tantrums altogether, by helping children gradually learn healthier ways to cope.
Once the storm has passed and your child has calmed down, take a moment to reconnect. Reassure them that they are safe and loved. This is also a valuable opportunity to gently talk about what happened and how they might express those feelings differently next time.
Just Remember
Tantrums are a normal, expected part of childhood development. They reflect a child’s ongoing effort to understand their emotions and surroundings — and while these moments can feel frustrating and sometimes embarrassing, they are important learning opportunities. As parents, how we handle these situations teaches our children not just about emotional regulation, but also about safety, empathy, and unconditional love.
Be patient with your child, and just as importantly, be patient with yourself. Parenting is not about perfection. It’s about connection, consistency, and compassion. The uncomfortable public tantrums will pass, and with time, your child will grow into a person who knows how to navigate their feelings, even in the most challenging settings. You are not alone on this journey, and every moment you spend guiding your child through these tough experiences matters more than any passing stare or thoughtless comment from a stranger.
